Allan's Monologue

I have decided that I was going to read over my monologue, I perform as Allan and take it apart to analyse in as much detail as I can.
"Julius Caesar. I can't say I ever saw it. And I used to watch a lot of video nasties..."
During this first line when I perform it I just start to drift off into my own world as referring to "Julius Caesar" as a video "nastie" it triggers a state of mind for Allan where all he can do is talk about is traumatic past. I believe and have interpreted that Allan has trigger words and phrases that bring up his memories from his abusive past. this links back to near start when he talking about 'Oscar Wilde' being gay and how Allan became increasingly annoyed when Rose tried to have a go at him for saying "Queer".
"I used to watch them all the time. When I was a kid. I lived down the road from my local Blockbuster and the manager took a shine to me. He used to take me into the back room to show me these dirty films... not that you get very dirty films at Blockbuster. Smutty more like, though still capable of affecting an impressionable mind."
This is the first time anyone has heard about Allan's past out side of the institute and we learn that it wasn't a very good life. We start of learning that Allan from a young age has been subjected to pornographic images that in his words were "Capable of affecting an impressionable mind." I have also interpreted from these lines that in my opinion that Allan as well as being shown pornographic images was also taken advantage of by the shop owner.
"I preferred the action films. Die Hard. Scream Two. Little did I know that they might one day furnish me with the title of my own autobiography. But the best news was when Blockbuster started renting computer games. Now I could enjoy the violence in the privacy of my room."
From these set of lines we learn that Allan was very sadistic child as he enjoyed the idea of controlling violence through video games. Allan also talks about how he was impression by the violent action films. He says that these film "furnish me with the title of my own autobiography" which is quite a twisted line suggesting his life could be like an violent action film where he'd go out and kill people based on his tragic child hood.

"I preferred Doom and Laura Croft. They were great. I mean, the graphics were really in your face. Only my step-dad... he was dead against them. He used to go on about them. All the shooting. All the killing. People getting mauled by lion and sliced up by monsters..."
We see more of Allan's twisted soul emerge as he talks about the violence in the games with such a passionate and personal attachment to the violence. Allan gives a impression that all he wants to do is play violent games where he could kill and mane the characters to his hearts content. After analysing this section of Allan's monologue I have come up with my own interpretation that Allan isn't actually talking about video games. Allan is really talking about animal abuse, the effects he was talking about are actually the blood splatter from small animals he had been torturing. What makes me believe this is when Allan talks about the graphics in the games make them seem like they're so realistic when in fact the games from the 1st generation of PlayStation were actually didn't have the best graphics because technology had been developed that much in graphics yet. So this lead me to believe that Allan was actually committing gruesome animal cruelty. Alternatively the Graphics are only realistic to Allan because he can actually visualise committing the murders.
"My step-dad used to say that one thing would only lead to another. The blood splatter and the sound effects. They made it more realistic until in the end it almost felt like the real thing and who could blame until in the end it almost felt like the real thing and who could blame you if you decided that you wanted... you know... if you wouldn't actually prefer the real thing. it was one small step."
In this we see the last part of Allan's innocents die as he finally appears to enter a absolute mind of a killer but at the same time at this moment we sympathise with Allan because this is the moment we understand the Allan the most as we have had in the whole show as we have had look into his past to see how tragic it has been for one child. This part raises the question of whether Allan is responsible for his actions he has done because he is clearly now presented as a very damaged individual but should that be a excuse for the crime Allan committed later in his life.
"No. I'm not saying that. My step-dad didn't want me to play violent games. he used to search me every time I came back from school. I had a PlayStation but he personally chose all the software. Civilisation. The Sims. Stuff like that. He'd search my room... he was worried about my long-term  development. Anyway, one night he came in unexpectedly and caught me red-handed, I'd just managed to get my hands on Grand Theft Auto and there I was blasting away, left right and
centre. And there he was, standing at the door."
In this ending paragraph we see the last part of Allan's childhood with his parents before he ran away which is where his step-dad beat him up. This paragraph connects to my theory about Allan being involved with animal cruelty. When Allan was search on his way home for games he was actually being search for weapons Allan tried to sneak home and when his stepdad caught him paying the game it was that he actually was caught torturing an animal.